Clint is a good man. I know I am lucky. But sometimes I want to shake him and ask the higher powers what I did to deserve this. Clint is a very intelligent man. So when he does something that seems stupid for lack of a better word, it infuriates me to no end. Clint is very rational and meticulous but when he gets frustrated or upset he loses his cool. I then of course lose my cool. And we look like a couple of bickering five year olds. You know the classic “Stop touching me. Mom – he’s touching me!” This is obviously not our finest moment, but what can you do? Both of us are too proud to back down and saying “I’m sorry” is like being forced o swallow the worst medicine ever.
So one warm and toasty Sunday, Clint and I go shopping with my girl friend and her kids. Now, before you think I have lost my mind to voluntarily go shopping with two kids, there is a method to my madness. I want Clint to see how having children changes your life. We are very spoiled right now, because we are able to do whatever we want, whenever we want. And honestly I enjoy that. I know Clint wants a family and a chance to be a father, but I want him to realize the logistics of day to day life that become necessary after having children.
Here I am holding a six month old infant in Brooks Brothers while Clint it looking at ties to add to his collection. I have been holding this baby for the past thirty minutes and my arms are tired. I take Clint’s tie shopping opportunity as a chance to position the baby in the stroller so my arms can recover. However as I am placing the baby in the stroller, he starts wailing. I can’t blame him. Why would he want to leave the warm security of my arms for an uncomfortable, cold stroller. While I am trying to strap a squirming, screaming baby, Clint bolts out of the store. Thirty seconds after I get the stroller moving, the crying stops. But Clint is already standing outside.
During the chaos of rearranging the baby, Clint decided that the best course of action would be for him to vacate the store. The crying baby hurt his ears. I took this opportunity to inform him that if he wants his own children, his ears are going to be doing a lot of hurting because babies cry and there is nothing you can do about it. I was also curious as to how Clint walking out of the store solved the crying problem. He carried himself, not the baby out of the store. So all the other patrons still had to listen to the baby. And he did not offer to help me soothe the baby. Instead he just vacated the premises. Leaving me to soothe and position a screaming infant. And all I can say is I am not a fool, so I will be having no babies of my own until Clint can accept a baby’s cries as natural.
I was pissed at the time, but looking back it was hilarious. My fiancé who calms and soothes his clients all the time, loses his cool around a six month old infant. Now, personally I would be more scared of a 45 year old man, but I guess that adult men are just babies trapped in a man’s body.
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